I swear, I haven't forgotten about you all. But the babies have recently decided that they no longer want to sleep during the day, and ESPECIALLY not at the same time, so I have had little time to do much of anything (she types, as she sits in her pajamas with unbrushed teeth).
We are going away next week, but hopefully the time away will give me lots to blog about.
Friday, July 20, 2007
Saturday, July 7, 2007
The Grass is Always Greener
Before I had children, I had a few acquaintances who would frequently use a variation of the following phrase in conversations with me: You'll understand when you have children. For example:
Oh, you're in a book club? The only thing I read these days are children's books. You'll understand when you have children.
You and your husband are going away for the weekend? Must be nice. You'll understand when you have children.
Your house is decorated beautifully. You can kiss that goodbye when you have children.
You're having another glass of wine? I'd have another glass if I didn't have to go home and take care of my children.
You're taking more graduate courses? If I didn't have children, I could do that, too.
You get the idea.
The comments were always innocent enough, and I don't believe they were intended to hurt my feelings in any way. It was more of a Mother's Lament, a longing for the way things once were, a desire for the freedom of days past...and believe me, I can relate. Most of these people didn't know about my struggles with infertility, so had no idea how much these comments stung. I vowed that I would never, ever, say this to anyone, no matter how wistful I became for my child-free days.
I think it's incredibly important that your children don't become the sole definition of who you are. It's likely that this was the issue with the acquaintances to whom I'm referring; that they were no longer willing or able to partake in some of the activities they once enjoyed. I am a Mother, yes, and perhaps most importantly. But I am so many other things, too. And I can't let those other things get buried under my day-to-day motherly duties just because I have children now.
To date, I don't believe I have uttered that phrase, or any variation of it, to anyone. Largely because I am still a member of said Book Club (even though I haven't read the last few books), and I still collect and display antiques that I love, and I am three courses shy of my second Master's Degree (bedrest got in the way of the final three courses, but I will be taking them in the Spring with any luck!). The weekend get-away has yet to be realized, but I hope it's not far off. And if I want another glass of wine, darn it, I deserve it.
Oh, you're in a book club? The only thing I read these days are children's books. You'll understand when you have children.
You and your husband are going away for the weekend? Must be nice. You'll understand when you have children.
Your house is decorated beautifully. You can kiss that goodbye when you have children.
You're having another glass of wine? I'd have another glass if I didn't have to go home and take care of my children.
You're taking more graduate courses? If I didn't have children, I could do that, too.
You get the idea.
The comments were always innocent enough, and I don't believe they were intended to hurt my feelings in any way. It was more of a Mother's Lament, a longing for the way things once were, a desire for the freedom of days past...and believe me, I can relate. Most of these people didn't know about my struggles with infertility, so had no idea how much these comments stung. I vowed that I would never, ever, say this to anyone, no matter how wistful I became for my child-free days.
I think it's incredibly important that your children don't become the sole definition of who you are. It's likely that this was the issue with the acquaintances to whom I'm referring; that they were no longer willing or able to partake in some of the activities they once enjoyed. I am a Mother, yes, and perhaps most importantly. But I am so many other things, too. And I can't let those other things get buried under my day-to-day motherly duties just because I have children now.
To date, I don't believe I have uttered that phrase, or any variation of it, to anyone. Largely because I am still a member of said Book Club (even though I haven't read the last few books), and I still collect and display antiques that I love, and I am three courses shy of my second Master's Degree (bedrest got in the way of the final three courses, but I will be taking them in the Spring with any luck!). The weekend get-away has yet to be realized, but I hope it's not far off. And if I want another glass of wine, darn it, I deserve it.
Thursday, July 5, 2007
Wednesday, July 4, 2007
Eight Things About Me
Bub and Pie tagged me for my first meme, and in fact was the person who explained what a meme was. I'm thankful for something to write about, because I've been having difficulty lately coming up with posts. I don't know if it's a lack of sleep or just a lack of originality, but I'm having some severe writer's block of late.
Anyway, here are the rules of the Eight Things About Me meme:
A. Each player lists 8 facts/habits about themselves.
B. The rules of the game are posted at the beginning before those facts/habits are listed.
C. At the end of the post, the player then tags 8 people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves them a comment, letting them know that they have been tagged and asking them to read your blog.
Enjoy!
1. I am a seafood-eating vegetarian, and have been for almost 5 years now. People always ask me what prompted me to become a vegetarian, and the short answer is: I'm not sure. I love animals, yes, but I think the choice had more to do with the fact that meat just wasn't agreeing with me like it used to. (Geez, that makes me sound like I'm a senior citizen.) I don't think I'll raise Charlotte and Gavin to be vegetarians, but I will certainly make them aware of my choice.
Lately, though, hot dogs are looking pretty good to me. We'll see where this goes.
2. For two years I danced on a national television show called Dance Party USA. Yes, I have the fan mail to prove it.
3. I have a weird sixth-sense about some things. I'm not claiming that I can predict the future or anything, but sometimes I just intuitively know things. I once guessed what was in a friend's bank account to the penny. I think this ability also makes me an excellent judge of character, usually.
4. I love to garden, but I will immediately kill every house or potted plant I get. I forget to water them. Poor things, they don't stand a chance.
5. The famous Revolutionary War heroine, Molly Pitcher, is somehow related to me. I think she's my sixth-great grandmother.
6. My sisters are twins, and my mom was a member of the local Twin Club when they were born. I contacted the same Twin Club (now called Mothers of Multiples) when I found out I was having twins, and it turns out that I am their first Legacy Member.
7. I have way too many Vera Bradley bags.
8. I don't get Mary J. Blige. I know she's won all these Grammy's, but I just don't see the appeal. Am I the only one?
I do, however, totally get Prince. I love him.
Unfortunately, I don't know many people in the blogosphere, and if I do know them, they don't know me! Here's who I'm tagging:
Amy T.
Emmie
Stacie
Snickollet
Anyway, here are the rules of the Eight Things About Me meme:
A. Each player lists 8 facts/habits about themselves.
B. The rules of the game are posted at the beginning before those facts/habits are listed.
C. At the end of the post, the player then tags 8 people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves them a comment, letting them know that they have been tagged and asking them to read your blog.
Enjoy!
1. I am a seafood-eating vegetarian, and have been for almost 5 years now. People always ask me what prompted me to become a vegetarian, and the short answer is: I'm not sure. I love animals, yes, but I think the choice had more to do with the fact that meat just wasn't agreeing with me like it used to. (Geez, that makes me sound like I'm a senior citizen.) I don't think I'll raise Charlotte and Gavin to be vegetarians, but I will certainly make them aware of my choice.
Lately, though, hot dogs are looking pretty good to me. We'll see where this goes.
2. For two years I danced on a national television show called Dance Party USA. Yes, I have the fan mail to prove it.
3. I have a weird sixth-sense about some things. I'm not claiming that I can predict the future or anything, but sometimes I just intuitively know things. I once guessed what was in a friend's bank account to the penny. I think this ability also makes me an excellent judge of character, usually.
4. I love to garden, but I will immediately kill every house or potted plant I get. I forget to water them. Poor things, they don't stand a chance.
5. The famous Revolutionary War heroine, Molly Pitcher, is somehow related to me. I think she's my sixth-great grandmother.
6. My sisters are twins, and my mom was a member of the local Twin Club when they were born. I contacted the same Twin Club (now called Mothers of Multiples) when I found out I was having twins, and it turns out that I am their first Legacy Member.
7. I have way too many Vera Bradley bags.
8. I don't get Mary J. Blige. I know she's won all these Grammy's, but I just don't see the appeal. Am I the only one?
I do, however, totally get Prince. I love him.
Unfortunately, I don't know many people in the blogosphere, and if I do know them, they don't know me! Here's who I'm tagging:
Amy T.
Emmie
Stacie
Snickollet
Sunday, July 1, 2007
Why I'm Still Nursing...
Charlotte, on the day she was born.
Charlotte at four months old (check out the double chin!)
Gavin a few days after birth (to give you an idea of how small he was...the "towel" under his neck is a washcloth!!!)
Gavin and Daddy, four months later...