Saturday, September 22, 2007

Give and Take

You know how life is supposed to be about give-and-take? Lately, I feel like I'm all "give." The babies are little, so they can't help how needy they are right now. I'm sure I'll get my share of "take" from them later when they are able to reciprocate more than a smile. But boy, at this stage, I couldn't be giving any more of myself...and since I'm nursing, I mean that in the most literal sense.

When the twins finally go to sleep, I just want to be alone. A-L-O-N-E. With a good book. But there's a husband that I need to give some of my attention to, since the only quality time we've spent together during the day included diaper-changing. And then there's my cats, who might be the world's neediest. They want to be petted, and cuddled, and they want to lay all over me. Trying to ignore them makes matters worse - they head-butt me and lay on top of the book I'm reading or the computer keyboard. So I give in, and they get their share of attention too. And then there's the laundry that needs to be folded, the dishes that need to be washed, the toilets that deperately need to be scrubbed because I can't seem to find the time to clean....

Becoming a mother definitely means giving up "me" time. But I'm so busy tending to everyone else's needs, who's left to tend to mine?

Can you tell it's been an exhausting day? I'm off to go read a little of "Eat, Pray, Love."

6 comments:

  1. I find the husband thing most difficult. I would finish tandem-nursing the twins, and getting them OFF OF ME was such a relief, and then someone ELSE was pawing at me. It was all I could do not to SHOVE him away with a YELL.

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  2. I hate to tell you this but guys just don't have "that" gene!! You know the one that even though you are dead tired..the laundry needs done, the dishes need done, all those things need done so you just do them.. a woman takes the initiative to get things done and the man is oblivious=)

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  3. Just found your blog through your comment over at Twinkies. I hear you on all of the exhaustion stuff, we're definitely there, too. I think you're doing the right thing trying to get a handle on sleep now, as we're at 12+ months and still not sleeping well, as we kept waiting for things to sort themselves out, or going for the easy fix (nursing) to get sleep faster in the moment, rather than working for the long term.

    And you're right, you probably need to go for consistency and just push through things and then hopefully it will get easier over time. Good luck!

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  4. Oh, I remember this - the feeling that I've given absolutely ALL I can and that a simple head-butt from the cat is enough to send me RIGHT OVER THE EDGE.

    It gets better.

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  5. Some things get easier and some things get harder, but this definitely gets easier. Much. For one thing, you start getting more snatches of time where they don't need you, and when they go to bed, the house is cleaner. You get less "touched out". I remember this feeling like it was yesterday.

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