Tuesday, March 30, 2010

It's Too Early in the Morning for a Heart Attack!

I think my heart rate has slowed enough to be able to recount my morning's adventures for you.
The day started off alright; kids slept 'til 7am, which is rare. No major tantrums before breakfast. Gavin actually put on pants today (although insisted on wearing his Wiggles Concert Tee for the third day in a row. Whatevs.). Things were looking up.

And then, all of the sudden, I was locked in Gavin's room.

Let me explain. Gavin WILL NOT stay in his bed at night. We've tried all of SuperNanny's techniques; it just won't happen. So (and I hesitate to type this at the risk of you thinking I'm cruel) we turned his doorknob around so we can lock him in at night. This really did work like a charm. For a few nights, he tried to get out, but then realized it was futile. Now he stays put at night. Problem solved! In fact, some nights I don't even lock it, but he doesn't know that, so he doesn't even attempt to get out anymore.

Well, I was getting Gavin dressed in his room this morning, and Nathan was playing beside me. And by getting Gavin dressed I mean I was trying to rationalize with a three-year-old the reasons why it was NOT COOL to wear your Wiggles shirt three days in a row, and that it was kind of chilly and not really appropriate weather for short sleeves. And then I heard his bedroom door shut. Charlotte is a huge fan of closing doors. I'm not sure why; it's a bit of an obsession for her at the moment. OCD prehaps? She needs all the doors upstairs to be closed. But that's for another post on another day. So I calmly get up and go to open the door. And IT WAS LOCKED. From the outside!! Panic set in. I don't have a phone in there. I have no way to call for help. A million things were running through my head (they were completing rational things, like jumping out of the window, using my Hulk-like strength to rip the door off the frame, and telepathically contacting Michael to come home and save us).

In a very calm, cool, and collected voice, so as not to scare anyone, I said, "HOLY S#*T!! CHARLOTTE!! UNLOCK THE $)%*$#* DOOR!!!!!" She was trying, but she isn't entirely great with doorknobs, and also isn't entirely great with following directions. So I tried another angle, and again, calmly stated, "GO GET THE PHONE!! DO YOU HEAR ME?? GET THE PHONE FROM MY ROOM AND SLIDE IT UNDER THE DOOR!" While she was doing that, I was summoning MacGyver and untwisting a coat hanger to try to unlock it myself. I could hear Charlotte trying to cram something under the door, so relief started to set in...until I realized she was shoving one of her hair bows under there. Which, under normal circumstances, might be funny. But not right now.

After a moment, she did manage to open the door. Crisis averted. But let's just say for now I have little skeleton keys stashed in Gavin's room should that ever happen again, and I think the knob's getting turned around again tonight.

It's like a bad sitcom, right? Right. Except it's MY. LIFE.

On another note, how cute are these little juice glasses from Crate and Barrel? I WANT them. I wish they weren't glass though, because they will certainly break if my kids use them. If they can't handle doorknobs, then they definitely can't handle juice glasses.


  1. Wow! I would have been freaking out too! Way to go Charlotte for coming to the rescue! Where was Nathan during this whole ordeal?

  2. I broke out into a sweat while reading that. So scary!


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