I am in no way bragging about this. In fact, I would love it if the twins would take 30 minute baths, because they seem to love being in the water. The problem is that they splash. And by splash I mean they literally throw every drop of water out of the tub and onto the floor, the walls, and their mother.
Since they seem to have difficulty lately comprehending the word "no," and generally seem incapable of following even the smallest direction, I've decided that when they splash, then tubby time is over. I believe they are right on the cusp on understanding cause and effect, and I'm hoping this little exercise will speed up their understanding and stop the splashing once and for all. I'll tell you one thing, it has stopped the amount of times I've yelled, "For the love of God, STOP SPLASHING RIGHT NOW! CAN"T YOU SEE I'M DRENCHED! AND I REALLY DON'T HAVE TIME TO MOP UP THE FLOOR AGAIN!" Because, really, the twins just think it's comical when Mommy loses her cool. And when they laugh at me, they win. And I can't let them win!
Once we get in the tub, I talk up all of their tub toys: "Oh, look! There are the basketballs and the net! And here's your little fishing pole! Look at the tub crayons! Can you draw Mommy a picture!" And they either don't care about the toys or they just love to piss me off, because they immediately decide that splashing is WAY more fun than drawing Mommy some stupid picture. The splashing starts about 5 seconds after they get in the tub. Which means I have to wash their hair and scrub their little bodies at warp-speed and lift their kicking, screaming, soaking bodies out of the tub while they yell, "TUBBY! WANT TUBBY!!!"
You'd think with all this exercise, wrestling 30-pounders in and out of the tub, I'd have lost all of the baby weight by now. Not so, my friends. :(
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