Why I Hate Tubby Time, or An Exercise in Futility

I can bathe Charlotte and Gavin in 90 seconds flat.

I am in no way bragging about this. In fact, I would love it if the twins would take 30 minute baths, because they seem to love being in the water. The problem is that they splash. And by splash I mean they literally throw every drop of water out of the tub and onto the floor, the walls, and their mother.

Since they seem to have difficulty lately comprehending the word "no," and generally seem incapable of following even the smallest direction, I've decided that when they splash, then tubby time is over. I believe they are right on the cusp on understanding cause and effect, and I'm hoping this little exercise will speed up their understanding and stop the splashing once and for all. I'll tell you one thing, it has stopped the amount of times I've yelled, "For the love of God, STOP SPLASHING RIGHT NOW! CAN"T YOU SEE I'M DRENCHED! AND I REALLY DON'T HAVE TIME TO MOP UP THE FLOOR AGAIN!" Because, really, the twins just think it's comical when Mommy loses her cool. And when they laugh at me, they win. And I can't let them win!

Once we get in the tub, I talk up all of their tub toys: "Oh, look! There are the basketballs and the net! And here's your little fishing pole! Look at the tub crayons! Can you draw Mommy a picture!" And they either don't care about the toys or they just love to piss me off, because they immediately decide that splashing is WAY more fun than drawing Mommy some stupid picture. The splashing starts about 5 seconds after they get in the tub. Which means I have to wash their hair and scrub their little bodies at warp-speed and lift their kicking, screaming, soaking bodies out of the tub while they yell, "TUBBY! WANT TUBBY!!!"

You'd think with all this exercise, wrestling 30-pounders in and out of the tub, I'd have lost all of the baby weight by now. Not so, my friends. :(

Biting Off WAY More Than I Can Chew

I'm not sure what I have gotten myself into these days, but I'm certain that my blood pressure has been rising steadily over the past few weeks. (Probably not good for a pregnant lady...)

In just about a month and a half, I am returning to my full-time job. I will be about 6 months pregnant, mind you, but I am still returning, because that was my plan, darn it, and I'm sticking to it! (Hello, Type A!) Many of you know that teaching is not a 9-5 gig. My work is about 45 minutes away, so I have to leave my house at 7 am to get there on time. That means I will somehow have to get myself, Charlotte, Gavin, and eventually a new baby ready all before 7 am. (Deep breaths, Amy.) If I even begin thinking about all of the lesson planning, grading, conferencing, and collaborating that I am going to have to do, I will need a paper bag to breathe into. I will be lucky if I see the twins for a couple of hours a day. I wish I didn't have such a crazy commute.

I've also begun taking a graduate course. At this point you are probably thinking that I have lost my marbles, so let me get you up to speed here. When the twins were born, I was just about 14 weeks short of obtaining my Masters in Reading/Reading Specialist Certification. Receiving this Masters will not only move me up the pay scale, but also open some doors for me career-wise. I have three courses left to graduate. I am taking one course right now, over the summer. The final two are thesis writing courses, and I have to take them during the fall semester. Which means I will have to write some sort of thesis. When I am very pregnant. And working full-time. And missing my twin toddlers at home. (Deep breaths, Amy.) With Michael's encouragement, I decided that if I didn't finish the degree now, I would never finish it. So I am muddling through just to get it done.

If that isn't enough, I am getting ready to teach a 2-week Reading and Writing course to first and second graders. I agreed to this before I knew I was pregnant, and before I started taking a grad class. And I'm not a quitter, so I start next week. So now I am busy writing lesson plans on top of all the homework I'm doing for my grad class. (Deep breaths, Amy.)

We are so getting a cleaning lady when I return to work in September.