Anxiety runs in my family, to some degree. (Thanks, Nana G.) Fortunately, I am able to manage it pretty well during most daily activities (I think...my friends and family might argue otherwise). You'll see it running rampant in certain situations, though, like if I'm late for work or an appointment. I literally get hives. But for the most part, my anxiety level is usually low. Present, but low.
Except when I go to sleep.
When I sleep, all bets are off. My anxiety is completely unbridled and manifests itself in my dreams. Honestly, I must have 8-10 dreams a night, which I think is why I never feel completely rested. Ever. I have three anxiety-driven recurring dreams, and let me tell you, they are beauties. I wake up in a cold sweat every time.
The first is always some variation of the following scenario: I'm in high school or college and I have to get to class. Only I can't remember what class it is. It's the middle of the semester; surely I've been to this class before...but I have no recollection of the location of the room or the identity of the professor. I wind up wandering all around campus, searching for a schedule of my courses, and never make it to class.
The second is simple: My teeth fall out. I dream this one at least every other week, and always wake up frantically rubbing my finger along my gums to see if I still have teeth. Sometimes I lose one at time, sometimes they all fall out at once.
The third is that I need to get somewhere, usually work, but I'm hopelessly lost and can't get to where I need to be. I try to call someone for directions, but I keep misdialing the number. I'll almost have the number dialed until I get to the last digit, and then I hit the wrong button and have to start all over.
The other night I had all three dreams in a row. Didn't get much sleep that night.
I wonder what all of this means? Especially considering that, despite the fact that I have 4- month-old twins and other mundane stuff, my life is relatively stress-free at the moment? I think Freud would have a field day with me....
Saturday, August 4, 2007
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I think that the lack of sleep and overall exhaustion lends itself to some pretty weird dreams. I had forgotten about this until I read this post, but in my early days with my twins, I had a recurring dream that I was in a high school looking for a bathroom. Every time I went in, either it was too crowded, or the toilets were broken, or none of the stalls had doors or walls. Then there were the scary dreams were I was trying to run while carrying both of them. Hated that dream.
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